Strategies for Managing Back-to-School Anxiety in Kids and Teens
The back-to-school shift is hardly ever seamless. One moment it’s popsicles on the porch, and the next it’s supply lists, new schedules, and a whirlwind of school emails. For kids, this change can spark real anxiety—worries about fitting in, keeping up, or simply adjusting to a new rhythm. For parents, the stress can be just as real, even if it shows up in other ways.
Kids’ Anxiety: A Normal Response to Change
It’s worth repeating: anxiety before a new school year is common. Kids might mention stomachaches, toss and turn at night, or rattle off “what if” questions until you’re out of answers. Naming their worries and letting them know these feelings are normal can go a long way. A calm, validating response—“It makes sense that you’re nervous about a new teacher”—is much more comforting than “Don’t worry, you’ll be fine.”
The Parent Side of the Story
Here’s the piece that often gets overlooked: back-to-school can hit parents hard too. You’re not just managing your child’s nerves—you’re juggling supply shopping, adjusting work schedules, arranging after-school care, and maybe quietly worrying about whether your child will thrive in their new environment.
Some parents feel the stress physically: the racing mind before bed, the to-do list that never shrinks, the quick temper that appears out of nowhere. Others carry guilt—“Am I supporting them enough? Did I miss a red flag?” And of course, there’s the invisible load of coordinating it all: remembering picture day, packing lunches, signing permission slips, while also holding space for your child’s emotional world.
Parental stress during this transitional time matters for you and for your kids. Research shows that parental stress directly influences children’s ability to regulate their own stress (Compas et al., 2012). In other words: kids often take their cues from us. If we’re running on empty, they notice.
What Can Help Parents
Simplify where possible: Not every task needs to be perfect. Sometimes store-bought muffins for the bake sale are just fine.
Build your own routine: Even five minutes in the morning to drink coffee quietly, or an evening walk, can serve as your anchor.
Reach out for support: Whether that’s a co-parent, a friend, or another parent at school—sharing the load lightens it.
Model self-compassion: Saying out loud, “I’m feeling stressed too, but I’m working on taking a breath” shows kids that it’s okay to feel stretched and still find ways through.
When parents care for themselves, they don’t just feel better—they create a calmer atmosphere at home. And that’s the soil where kids’ resilience grows.
Coping Skills for Kids
While parents work on their own stress, kids need tools too. Coping strategies can be simple: slow breathing, grounding through the senses, or repeating calming phrases like “I can handle this.” Practicing these before school starts makes them easier to use when worries pop up.
Addressing the “What Ifs”
Kids love to throw out “what if” questions: What if I don’t find my classroom? What if nobody talks to me at lunch? Walk through these together, step by step. Talking out possible solutions turns vague dread into something concrete and manageable.
Get Familiar With School Early
If possible, walk the school hallways, meet the teacher, or simply drive past the building before the first day. The more familiar it feels, the less scary it becomes.
When to Reach Out for More Help
If anxiety leads to repeated school refusal, ongoing physical complaints, or distress that doesn’t ease, extra support may be needed. Counseling has been shown to help kids reduce school-related anxiety and gain coping tools that can help build their resilience and feel more empowered to handle the challenges of life.
Final Thoughts
Back-to-school isn’t just a transition for kids—it’s one for the whole family. The more parents care for themselves, the more they can be present for their kids. Anxiety may still show up, but it doesn’t have to run the show. With steady routines, open conversations, and self-care for both kids and parents, families can move into the school year with less stress and more confidence.